


Always a Katy

by puppyfacedbrokenboys (asexualsartemis)



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Canon, Asexual Character, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Communication, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, F/M, Kissing, Own Voices Asexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 07:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12164046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asexualsartemis/pseuds/puppyfacedbrokenboys
Summary: Basically A Katy or A Gaga (5x04) tweaked. The conversation in Jake’s room goes differently and Jake doesn't cheat! Also, Marley coming to terms with being asexual is thrown in the mix.





	Always a Katy

**Author's Note:**

> Aka close to how i wish that episode would’ve went down, a gazillion years later. Enjoy!

“Okay,” Marley Rose begins as she stops running, reaching Jake’s locker. She’s beaming. “We have to get to Breadstix extra early on Friday because they are having a Julie Andrews tribute at the Lima Limelight. Mary Poppins, Sound of Music, Princess Diaries—back to back. It’s going to be ah-mazing!”

“Yeah, that sounds really awesome,” Jake drawls sarcastically.

Marley’s grin falls. “Do you… not think it sounds amazing?”

“It’s just like it’s the same thing—Breadstix movie, Breadstix three movies, weekend after weekend.” He sighs and licks his lips. “I love you. Instead of doing the same thing, let’s just—” Jake takes her hands in his, his smile widening as he starts pulling their arms back and forth; a tiny dance that brings a laugh out of Marley “— shake it up a bit, babe.”

Marley smiles. “Okay, okay, forget Mary Poppins; we can do something else. Umm… they’re having Orchid Mania at the Gardens!”

Cue Jake’s _c’mon babe_ look.

Biting her lips, she suggests, “At the mall there’s a mobile cat adoption we could go to.”

“You are _such_ a Katy.” He tucks her hair behind her ear, recalling their Glee assignment for the week from Mr. Schue. “I don’t know how you’re going to pull off being a Gaga.“

She raises her brow. “Why, because I like cats and flowers and Julie Andrews? That doesn’t mean I can’t rock a bra made out of gloved leather hands.”

“Ooh, and I cannot wait,” Jake presses a kiss to her cheek, “to see that. C’mon.”

The comment throws Marley off-kilter for a moment, and it takes another call of Marley’s name to snap out of it and catch up with him. She will have to analyze it later. But first, history awaits her.

* * *

The next day Marley sits hunched over her phone, hidden behind the stack of her books and notebooks. The fingers of her left hand do a quick wave of taps on the glossy wood of her desk. She does a quick check over her left and then right shoulder, and then flicks her eyes up towards the front as Mr. Schue rattles on about conjugating the verb _jugar_.

No one is watching.

She looks back at her phone, taking a deep breath. Last night she did some Googling and found a bunch of articles and a book that could help explain the feelings she felt after her talk with Jake yesterday, but had fallen asleep before she was able to dive into the book. She is way too anxious to wait any longer to read it, so she takes another breath and unlocks her phone with her right thumb.

The screen flashes open, and with another tap on the screen opens the cover page of an eBook she borrowed from the public library the night before. The title _The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality_ stares up at her. Marley takes another deep breath; hunches over her phone, just in case, and begins to read.

The author’s introductory story unnerves her a bit, but she keeps reading. The further she reads, the more the information starts to sink in and the more it starts to feel true, and right. Overwhelmed, the sense of relief of finally having a word to explain what she feels and that she is not alone is… _indescribable_.

It is everything.

Statistically 1 in 100 people were asexual, the book states.

Just like her.

She keeps reading and reading, missing most of her Spanish lesson and has to be nudged by Kitty when the class is over and it is time to go.

She gets to the hallway and decides reading while navigating the hall is impossible, lest she ran into someone and fell over and then got trampled to death. So she waits, and prays that the rest of her classes will allow her to zone out and read her book.

But, of course, life is not on Marley’s side until gym class. She dresses out and then finds a corner by the bleachers to hole up in until class is over.

“Oh, I should have known,” comes from in front of her and Marley jumps. But she knows that voice, and a fast glance to the person’s feet reveals glittery pumps and Marley instantly relaxes a bit. “Gurl, how dare you leave me alone out there?”

Marley gives her best friend, Unique, a polite smile. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t—”

Unique smacks her lips. “Psh, none of us want to. Figured you’d be in the choir room, not here. Readin’ ain’t a crime, honey.” She’s teasing, Marley feels the warmth of affection for her friend envelope her as she scoots over to let Unique sit between her and the wall, choosing to take the bleachers’ side of the space.

As the duo gets settled Unique questions, “What are you reading? You’ve been ignoring all of us.” It wasn’t a new thing; they were used to it. Once Marley had a good book in her grasp she had to devour it until the very last letter. “It better be good.”

Marley tightens her grip on her phone at the question, biting her lip as warning lights flash through her brain. But then she takes a breath and dismisses the alarm. If she couldn’t talk to her best friend then who else could she talk to? And if she is asexual, that was part of the LGBT+ community, and with Unique being trans she may have some knowledge.

“You’re part of an LGBT+ group, right?” she asks slowly, trying to best form a course of action.

“Duh,” Unique replies, proudly tossing her curls.

“Have they ever talked about… being asexual?” Marley mumbles quickly. Like ripping off a Band-Aid, she thinks. Might as well go big or go home, right?

Unique narrows her eyes at her friend, not scrutinizing but trying to see the truth in her questioning. Unique was very perceptive and could read Marley well. “I knew somethin’ was up,” she replies, her features softening. “Ya think you’re ace? And of course, you found a book about it, didn’t ya?”

Marley nods. She feels a little better that she didn’t have to say it out loud first. But still.

“So you don’t feel sexual attraction, no big.” Unique shrugs and she lays her arm over Marley’s shoulders. Marley smiles and leans into the embrace; the fear she hadn’t realized had been gripping her falling away at Unique’s comforting touch. She never should have worried that Unique wouldn’t accept her.

“Have you told anyone?”

“No, just you. I’m still kind of confused.” Marley bites her lip.

“I’ll admit I’ve only heard a little bit about it, but I’m here to help you try to figure out your feelings, babe.”

* * *

Later that day Marley continues trying to make plans with Jake, walking down the stairs with him—thoughts of her sexuality revelation on the backburner for the time being.

Marley gushes, “I’m _so_ excited for this weekend!”

“Me, too. I was thinking we could… put a little edge to it.”

“Okay,” Marley says brightly, resting her hand on Jake’s and pulling him closer. “Ooh, I know! I can try to get us some John Mayer tickets. He’s supposed to be _amazing_ live.”

“Well, I’m sure he is but…” Jake pauses before continuing, “Yeah, it’ll be fun.” He presses a kiss to her forehead and Marley’s chest swells with warmth and excitement. She loved John Mayer and going with Jake, dancing and singing their hearts out was just what she needed right now with the feelings swirling around in her head.

But her happy high is soon interrupted by a freshman Cheerio blocking their path. Marley, in true Marley spirit, still manages to give her a polite smile.

“Well, look at these two cuties,” Bree begins. “Jake, I just wanted to mention that the Cheerios are working on something big and could really use your silky dance moves that make an awkward attempt at combining hip hop and ballet. You’re the best dancer in this hell-hole and I need you to help me choreograph a number.”

“Thanks, Bree, but I am not really a choreographer,” Jake declines.

But Marley is quick to say, “No, babe you should do it. You _love_ it and you’re so good at that.” He’s told her of his dreams of opening his own dance studio for underprivileged kids and Marley sees this as a perfect opportunity to have him gain some experience.

“Really?”

“Mhmm.” Marley nods at him.

“Sure, why not?” Jake agrees hesitantly. “I’m in.”

“Badass!” Bree interjects. “I’ll text you rehearsal deets. ‘Kay thanks, bye.”

Jake affectionately tweaks her nose as Bree walks away and the two shares a kiss. They carry on to class with Jake’s arm a warm weight across Marley’s shoulders and her heart happy for Jake.

* * *

Halfway through the day Marley is dragged from the lunch line by Unique.

“I’m not saying Jake is on the verge of cheating, but I’m not _not_ saying it. Like my Aunt Felicia says, a tiger can’t change his stripes, especially when that tiger’s a man-slut.”

Marley desperately tries to keep up with Unique’s long strides down the hallway. “Jake’s not like that.” At Unique’s groan Marley stresses, “Not anymore!”

“I know he loves you and you looove him. But that was _pre_ -Bree. That girl is poison. She is whack like crack—a penis fly trap, Marley. She will chew—him— _up_. Hashtag: preach.”

Unique leads Marley to the dance studio door and Marley looks inside to see Bree touching Jake’s butt, and after he spins her out, she grinds back into him. With his arms wrapped around her, they sway their hips together and an anxious knot forms in Marley’s stomach as she turns her attention away from them and back to her friend.

“Great, what am I supposed to do? I’m not _like_ that! I’m not that kind of girl!”

“This is your week to fight back. You need to go full Gaga and show him that you can be hardcore too,” Unique instructs.

“I’m not going to get paranoid with Jake. Either he can be with the real me or he can go!”

Except… Jake doesn’t know who the real her is, seeing as she had yet to pack up the courage to sit down and tell him she was asexual.

* * *

Even though this whole Katy versus Gaga debate is a Glee assignment, Marley is struck by how perfect a metaphor it is for the journey she has gone through this week of discovering important aspects about herself. Jake was right: Marley was not a Gaga. She would always be a Katy.

To be honest, she liked it that way.

“What happened to the sea-shell bikini?” Sam demands as Marley makes her way down the stairs on the set.

“I wasn’t comfortable,” Marley admits.

“Well, get over yourself. You think I’m just comfortable with no shirt on?”

The other Katy turned Gaga boys share their own discomfort at their costumes.

“I’m sorry, you guys! I am who I am. I’m not gonna change that for any number or any guy!” She purposely avoids looking at Jake. “There’s nothing wrong with just being a Katy and this whole assignment was—excuse my language— _fucked up_.” She throws her fake lollipop to the ground and stomps on it in frustration.

“Marley, we’re trying to win a championship here as a team, and you put your personal agenda above that. I’m sorry, but you’re suspended for the rest of the week.” Schue’s voice cuts through her like a guillotine.

 _Suspended_. Marley feels her heart sink in her stomach. Her face burns red and she feels tears threatening to fall. But she tries to hold her head high and briskly power walks out of the auditorium as fast as she can before she makes a bigger fool of herself. She instead saves her tears for the abandoned girls’ restroom on the ground floor and dissolves into tears in the last stall.

Her outburst was so childish. Instead of being a mature almost adult she’d blown her top and look at where that got her: kicked out of one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

When Unique finds her a few minutes later she praises her. “That was hella brave, gurl.” She wraps Marley in a warm hug, letting Marley cry on her shoulder.

Unfortunately Marley doesn’t share her sentiment.

* * *

Marley almost jumps as Jake stops in front of her locker after Glee ends. “Well I haven’t seen a Katy this sad since the Russell Brand break up CD: Part of Me.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Marley says sadly. The sight of him makes tears spring to her eyes all over again. “I just can’t believe I wasn’t allowed in there to watch your performance. I’ve never been suspended before. I’ve never even been in trouble for anything!

Jake tries to cheer her up. “Well, I have… plenty, actually.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Hey, listen, why don’t you come over after school today. We’ll do something fun. My mom has Mary Poppins on DVD.”

Marley hums with a huge smile, feeling lighter than she had. “Thank you.” She sighs deeply. “Okay, I’ll go home and change first.”

“You know, don’t. I’m kind of digging this whole Katy vibe.”

Marley looks at him in utter disbelief. “Seriously? Even the wig?”

“Especially the wig,” Jake says and there’s a smooth, heavy weight to his tone Marley hasn’t heard before (and to be honest doesn’t know quite how she feels about it). He rests his hand on her cheek, stepping closer and something very faint ignites in Marley’s brain.

“Oh,” she manages softly. He found it a turn on.

“And my mom’s working a double so she won’t be home until way, way late.”

Marley stares at him for a moment, stomach flipping uncomfortably, and it isn’t until Jake’s eyebrows furrow slightly that she realizes she hasn’t answered. “Um, sure,” she says, uncertainty gripping her. She bites her lip when Jake presses his lips to her forehead.

Thoughts race through her head. She was way in over her head.

* * *

True to his word, two bus trips later sees Jake leading Marley up to his bedroom after snagging the Mary Poppins DVD case from the living room. The couple snuggles in, with Jake’s arms wrapped securely around her as he starts the movie.

The movie is a perfect stress reliever. She sings softly along to the songs and smiles to herself as Jake makes the transition from humming against her shoulder to softly singing along to Bert’s lines.

As the credits roll and Mary Poppins floats away via her magic umbrella, Jake begins to press kisses to Marley’s neck—soft and warm and soothing. Marley hums, sinking back into his embrace. He breaks contact with her neck to lean over her, lowering the laptop to the floor and then coming back to cover her body with his.

Kissing Jake is heaven. His lips are soft, firm, and steady. Her hands reach up to rest on his shoulders, her fingers lingering over his strong back muscles—the product of basketball and dance training, no doubt. His body covers hers, hovering over her as he’s careful not to crush her. His body and arms encircling her make her feel warm and safe. She could kiss him forever and die a happy woman.

His lips drop to her neck, and his lower body shifts over hers. She feels his hardness on her thigh, but tries to block it from her mind as he nips softly at the pulse point in her neck. She sighs softly, content at the pressure.

Then the bliss is shattered as Jake tries to put a hand up her dress. She puts a hand on his to stop him, sliding her other hand into his hair as he simultaneously resumes kissing her. When he moves the hand up to her breast instead, Marley stops him again, tense and anxious and a little sick to her stomach.

“Jake, stop.” When he doesn’t immediately stop, she pushes on his chest, breaking their lips apart. Louder and more direct she repeats, “Jake, I said stop.”

The second command gets his attention and he does as he’s told, rolling off of her to the other side of his bed. His deep sigh makes the knot of nerves tighten in her belly. She rolls over on her side, facing away from him.

His voice is on edge as he speaks. “Can we have an honest conversation about this? The whole point of being boyfriend and girlfriend is that we hang out, and spend all this time together so that we can appreciate and trust each other.”

“I _totally_ appreciate and trust you,” Marley says softly, her eyes burning from the oncoming tears. Is this it? Is this the make or break moment? She knew it’d be coming, but this fast?

“And what better place is there to explore certain aspects of ourselves than _here_?”

She sniffs, her eyes watering. A wave of anger rushes over her and she can’t look at him. If she does she’ll break. “Are you telling me that the only reason you hang out with me and all that is just so that I’ll let you _touch my boob_?”

“ _What_? No, no of course not! But I feel like you won’t even consider it. What do you want me to do?”

“I just don’t want to be pressured into doing something I _don’t_ _want_ to do!”

“Who is pressuring you?” Jake exclaims, “Marley, I’ve been the most patient, the most understanding! I used to stop calling a girl if she didn’t let me in her pants after six hours.”

“Ugh, then go be with one of those girls! Go! Have fun!” Marley yells, her body flying up to throw her pink Katy Perry wig at him. Before it lands she forcibly turns her body to sit on the side of his bed. She puts her head in her hands, her fingers pushing into her hair. She’s choking on her tears by the time she feels Jake crawling towards her on the bed and dropping down behind her. She can’t keep the sob contained as she feels his arm wrap around her and pulls her into his warm chest. She can’t help but melt into the embrace.

“Marls,” he says softly into her ear, gently tugging her hair out of the way. “That was… a completely misogynistic thing for me to say, and I’m sorry. I’m just…”

“Frustrated, I know,” Marley mumbles, her voice thick with tears.

“Yes, but I still don’t have the right to talk to you that way.” He sighs, and presses a kiss into her hair. “Since I’ve completely ruined that conversation, can we try again? This time honest and calmly. I promise.” He gives her a squeeze with his arm and drops his chin on her shoulder.

When he speaks again, his voice is soft, gentle. “Sweetheart, what’s really wrong?”

Marley is quiet for a moment, lulled to relaxation by the rhythm of Jake’s chest rising and falling behind her. She tries to match her breaths to his, to steel herself for telling him how she feels. She was not quite ready for this, but Jake is giving her the opening she needs.

“You know that book I’ve been reading?” Marley begins with, her voice soft. She wipes the back of her nose on her hand.

“Yeah,” Jake chuckles, “the one no one can pry out of your hands. What does that have to do—?”

“It’s about Asexuality,” Marley interrupts. “It’s a sexual orientation; people that don’t experience sexual attraction.” She stills, waits; then takes the plunge. “I think I’m asexual. Or in the gray-area of rarely feeling it, at least; I’m not quite sure yet.”

She waits again, still no response from Jake. She’s too scared to look at him. “I wasn’t going to ‘come out’ yet… but, it’s what I feel and you asked so…”

There is still no response. Jake is still behind her. “Jake, please say something.”

“Where does that leave us?” Jake interjects from behind her. Even though he’s still wrapped around her, his arm has gone a bit slack and he, somehow, feels too far away.

Marley turns around, the movement breaking contact with him. “I just told you I’ve discovered something about myself and instead of being supportive your first worry is, _where does that leave us_?” she exclaims.

Jake quickly shakes his head and slides around to sit on the edge of his bed with her. “No, that’s not what I meant,” he tries to desperately reassure. “That came out wrong, and for that I’m sorry. As for discovering this about yourself: I am so happy for you, sweetheart. I think it's…,” he trails off, trying to find the right words and fumblingly continues, “great, awesome, _fantastic_ that, y’know, now understand yourself better. I should’ve started with that; I’m really fucking this up…”

He pauses, reaching out a hand towards her. He hesitates, his breath shuddering in his chest. Then he brushes her hair behind her ear and Marley resists the urge of leaning into the action like she normally did. “But Marley, please don’t fault me for thinking this… is a perfect setup for ‘hey, I’ve learned about myself and now I think a relationship isn’t for me.’”

Marley vigorously shakes her head. “No, Jake, that is not what I’m saying at all! I don’t want to lose you, or this.” She lays her hands on his, giving them a strong squeeze and then coaxes his fingers to entwine with hers. When she looks up at him there are tears in her eyes again. “This, you and I—I still want _this_. Being asexual merely means I don’t experience sexual attraction. But I am attracted to you, in other ways. And I want _this_.”

“You do?” Jake questions softly.

“Yes, I do. I _love_ you, and that _means_ something to me,” she echoes herself from a few months ago. She beams at Jake and is relieved to see him give her a small smile back. “Yes, and going back to earlier, you haven’t made me do anything I don’t want to do. I promise.”

“So… you still want us,” Jake says slowly, his smile falling in favor of a look that Marley knows means he’s a mixture of lost and confused but determined to understand. “And we still love each other… so, where do we go from here?” Then he sighs, pulling one of his hands from Marley’s grip to rub over his face. “Marls, you gotta spell this out to me very carefully because your boyfriend is dumb.”

Normally she’d scold him for talking like that about himself but she was on a roll. There was a lot to say before she lost her nerve. “In the book there’s a chapter about being a supportive partner to an asexual, and I think you should read it,” Marley suggests. “I’m still new to all this, and I’m still… not quite sure what and how I feel… like, I searched for hours on Google, reading tons of forum posts by other asexuals, and it just… is right. But, as of right now I don’t want to have sex. I guess I’m what people call sex-averse, where I’m not repulsed by it, per se, but I’ve always felt uncomfortable seeing or hearing, and especially _doing_ anything sexual, and it’s always weirded me out by thinking of me having it.”

She’s rambling at this point, having scooted back to lean against Jake’s headboard and hands wringing in her lap. Jake had also moved to lie horizontally on his side on the bed, facing her with his head propped up on his left arm. She sees confusion lingering in his features. It is hard to wrap one’s mind around something missing that is prominently a part of them. What she does not see, however, is disgust, and she feels the weight that she had been carrying lift. He doesn’t think she’s a freak.

Her word vomit over, she lightly pushes her foot into his stomach, gaining his attention as he seems lost in this own thoughts. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Hmm, oh.” Jake blinks, and then tickles her foot with a smile. “So… no sex. I can do that.”

“You can?” Marley can’t keep the utter disbelief and shock from her voice. “But you just said—”

“Yeah, I know I said. And I was a douche, okay? I’m not with you just for sex. And now that I know what’s going on with you… things have become very clear, Katy.” He smirks at her and Marley quickly tosses a pillow at him. “Hey, hey! I heard your rant, you know. I’m sorry my hormones took over and I didn’t properly talk to you about it.”

“Yeah, you lost brownie points for that,” Marley teases. She squawks as Jake retaliates with the pillow.

“You don’t have to change for me, babe,” he reassures, crawling back up the bed to be parallel with her. He grabs her hand, squeezing. “And don’t worry about Bree.”

When Marley’s eyes widen Jake chuckles. “Unique charmingly threatened to castrate me today in Math.”

Horrified, Marley cries, “Oh my God. She didn’t!”

Jake nods. “Oh, yeah—I about shit my pants, but after your scene at Glee it made much more sense.”

Marley giggles, imagining Jake’s mortified face. “I know she’s overprotective, but she and I will have words come Monday.”

Jake shrugs, chuckling. He is no stranger to Unique’s… colorful threats. “Yeah, tell her to put her surgical tools away. But I know it comes with the territory.”

Marley smiles to herself as Jake’s thumb brushes a leftover tear from her nose. “She goes too far sometimes, though.”

“You said it, not me!” Jake tweaks her nose and presses a kiss to her cheek.

The couple falls into a comfortable silence for the time being. Marley snuggles into Jake’s side, her face pressed into his shoulder and his arm around her. It has come to be one of their default positions and one of Marley’s favorites. Jake is a never-ending source of warmth, and she loves the way his breath tickles her ear as he breathes. Often one of them would start humming to themselves a random song, and the other would fill in the words softly if they were so inclined to do so.

It was comfortable, safe.

Marley breaks the silence by sighing happily.

“This is nice,” Jake whispers against her ear. She feels the upturn quirk of his lips on the shell of her ear. A slow shiver runs down her spine.

“Yeah,” she answers softly.

“Cuddling I can do.” Jake runs his hand up her shoulder to play with the tips of her hair. “What else?”

Communication was a running theme in the chapter of the book about mismatched sexuality relationships in the book. Marley is relieved that Jake was taking the lead on this conversation. Marley had yet to think this far into telling Jake, having been stuck on coming to terms with all of it herself.

“Kissing,” Marley answers, a mere breath. She locks her eyes on Jake and her smile matches his happy, lazy one. It was her favorite.

“Kissing, you know I can do,” Jake jokes. His hand stops playing with her light brown locks in favor of cupping the back of her head. He leans toward her but stops a breath away. “Show me,” he whispers.

It occurs to Marley that, at that moment, Jake had been the one to teach her how to kiss, her likes and dislikes. She had always loved the fairy tales and true love’s kiss, imagining one day she’d find her prince charming and imagining how amazing it would be.

She didn’t have to imagine anymore. Even at the age of sixteen, she knew she had found hers. He is staring at her with the most beautiful shade of brown eyes she has ever seen, the butterflies and not nerves fluttering in her stomach.

Normally Marley is timid around Jake, more submissive and shy, always waiting for Jake to make the first move when it came to intimate moments such as this. But at this moment, knowing that how she felt was okay and she wasn’t just nervous on account of inexperience empowered her. She knew she was safe with Jake.

A wicked grin graces her lips as she presses her lips to Jake’s in an open mouthed kiss, her tongue running over his lip that mirrors the many times Jake had done the same to her. She fills with pride at the sound of Jake’s surprise. With the momentum of the kiss, she rolls over on top of him, her hands framing his face as she deepens the kiss. She is careful to steer clear of his nether region this time.

She continues to kiss him, and then moves to kiss each corner of his lips, his nose, his eyes, and forehead before she sits back on his stomach. She takes in the look of his utter shock and her smile morphs into a smirk.

She leans back down towards his lips, pressing a barely there kiss. “Did you get that?”

His fingers flex against her thighs. He nods dumbly. “Uh… yeah—yeah, but I might need a repeat. For science.” His smirk cuts through his surprise. “Where’d that come fr—?”

Marley puts a finger to his lips to stop him. “Shh, I wanna try something.” Her confidence wavers as her fingertips move towards the zipper of the Katy dress. At that moment, she almost regrets her decision to try this with such terrible wardrobe. After a few tries and struggling, Marley blushes as she shifts to turn her back towards Jake. “Unzip me?” she asks softly.

She’s met with a questioning look in Jake’s eyes. She is most certainly sending him mixed signals with this, but she had a plan. “Are… are you sure?”

“Yes,” Marley almost sighs with frustration. She hadn’t realized how uncomfortable the dress truly was until this moment, on top of the gargantuan symbolism this would be in their relationship and she just wanted it off.

Jake merely nods and instead of going straight for the zipper, he nudges her off of him and scrambles from the bed. His hands grasp hers for her to follow suit, and then they are standing, facing each other awkwardly.

He licks his lips as he gazes at Marley, a million different emotions crossing his face. “I’m going to ask again, are you absolutely sure.”

“Yes, please get this thing off me,” Marley demands, flustered.

Jake’s hands land firmly on her shoulders, then slide to cup the sides of her neck as he tilts her head towards him. He presses a gentle kiss to her lips, and then another. The look in his eyes makes Marley’s heart flutter and her stomach do a somersault.

Would he like what he saw? Marley, still recovering from her eating disorder, had progressed to not-encompassing, but the thoughts still crept up unbidden. Was she really ready for this? The gentle squeeze of Jake’s hand on her upper arm as he reaches behind her for the zipper calms her, steadying her nerves.

Yes, she is ready for this—the prospect of the intimacy, the skin to skin contact between them, the utter metaphorical semblance of removing clothing to be close as they did so with their conversation.

Both of them inhale softly at the first contact of Jake’s fingertips on her back, just below her bra as he coaxes the zipper down. Marley shivers, electroshocks zipping through her body. She glances up at Jake and is shocked at the transfixed look that completely covers his face.

She flushes, embarrassed, and on reflex her arms curl around her body as the dress flutters to the floor at her feet.

His fingertips hover over her hands, hesitant. “Marls,” he says softly. “Talk to me. What do you want me to do?” His voice is so concerned and lost.

“Hold me?” she asks softly, shy again. She’s suddenly cold without the garment. Nothing would make her put that thing back on, though.

“A-are you sure?” Jake asks for the third time in 5 minutes. “I-I have clothes you can wear… or, or I can get you my mom’s?”

“Later,” Marley says. She slowly uncurls her arms, her eyes locking onto Jake’s.

“Marls.” Gentle, oh so gentle, he moves to take her into his arms.

“Wait,” Marley stops him with a hand to his chest. She takes a breath for courage. “I-I thu-ink you have too many clothes on, mister.” Before Jake can answer, Marley steps forward and reaches for the edges of his overshirt, and pushes the fabric down his arms. Emboldened, her fingers lightly trace a vein down his forearm on their way to the hem of his shirt. “Arms up, please,” she whispers and her earlier embarrassment is replaced with a flirty smile.

Jake, smiling back, dips his head for a quick kiss before helping Marley lift the garment all the way off of him.

This is the first time Marley is able to touch his chest and not just look at it. She always stopped them from going this far in the past. Instead of the cliche slow hand glide down his chest, Marley opts for a soft kiss to the skin over Jake’s heart. She smiles at Jake’s gasp.

Jake is still, and Marley figures he’s letting her take the lead. Heart pounding, Marley closes the gap between their bodies, snaking her arms around her boyfriend’s neck. They gasp in unison at the contact, shuddering against each other. Once accustomed to the sensations rocking through her, she pulls Jake down into a slow kiss, walking them back onto the bed.

They are back in heaven, kissing on Jake’s bed. The feel of Jake’s skin against hers takes her breath away, and the feelings of warmth and security increase tenfold.

Jake breaks from the kiss, shifting a little to the side to avoid holding himself up. “You’re so beautiful, Marls. I love you so much,” he whispers between their mutual gulps of air. He cradles her head in his hand, thumb gently caressing her cheek. “Thank you. For dating me, for being you, for letting me know this about you. Everything.”

His eyes are glinted with gold, she realizes in that moment. His eyes are so open and soft and loving, adoring. Tears leak from her eyes as she hides her head into Jake’s neck, her arms tightening around him. She presses a kiss to his neck, at a loss for words but manages whispering a breathless, “Everything.”

In that moment, the happiest Marley had ever felt in her life, she thinks: being a Katy isn’t too bad.


End file.
